I claim that "When it comes to falling in and out of love -- and what to do and more importantly, what not to do...I am one of the world's greatest living experts...and believe it or not I am only half kidding! I promise you, when it comes to romance, if there is a mistake to be made, I've probably either made it personally or been right there watching in shock and bewilderment as one of my friends, or one of their friends, or someone's relative made it! I used to think that my life was just weird and that my friend's lives were just weirder, but to tell you the truth that's not the case. As I've aged the one thing I have learned for certain is that everyone has either done, or is still actively doing stuff that would make most of the shenanigans on the daily soap operas seem like your average episode of "Leave It To Beaver." Seriously, if you stop and think about everyone you know and all the odd little secrets that you know about their lives, you'll probably either agree that I'm right...or you truly are a fortunate soul who is living a charmed life! Anyway, compared to everyday living in today's world finding romance on the internet is practically a walk in the park...and it could well be your very best chance for finding true love. So read on -- or if you insist skip forward to the actual advice part. Think about it, the chance encounter is a popular myth with a very small basis in fact. There are a fortunate few out there who actually met the love of their life while walking their dog in the park, doing laundry, buying groceries, or visiting the library or video store.... In fact, there are just enough who have done so to keep the myth alive. Unfortunately, most of us are not fortunate enough to live inside one of those wonderful old Taster's Choice® commercials where the hunk moves in next door. If the majority of us want to meet that certain someone we'll have to work at it -- just as seriously as we would work at finding suitable employment. Psychologists and Sociologists tell us that isolation is one of the greatest problems facing individuals in the modern world, and they now say that the internet only increases that problem because it allows us the luxury of reaching out to others without ever leaving the privacy of our homes. So the basic facts of the times in which we live are actively working against us. The eighties was the era of the yuppies, and the nineties was the era of the bundlers, and the new millineum is the time of a handy virtual reality that often replaces the actual touch of a human hand, or the non-digitized sound of a human voice. Successful people must often travel far from home, family and long-time friends in order to live and work, and many can afford to make themselves extremely comfortable in their new surroundings. The majority of us work among strangers and return home to a number of modern conveniences which make staying home more attractive than facing the world again...and this is particularly true in suburban areas where the majority do not live in self-contained little neighborhoods, but travel everywhere in personal automobiles. We have home delivery of everything from Piping Hot Pizza and Fine Gourmet Cuisine The Latest Breaking News and Weather The Hottest Sporting Events and The Most Recent Films Mail Order Catalogues and Home Shopping Channels Filled With Gifts, Clothes, Luxuries, Novelties Books, Exotics, Fruit, Candy, Meat, Nuts, Records and Panty of the Month Club Selections Our homes are filled with Freezers, Refrigerators and Pantries Filled With Designer Food Microwaves, Crockpots, Jacuzzis, Dish and Clothing Washers Cable Television, Mini Satellites, Vcrs, Stereos, and of course, computers, modems and EBAY ...all of which act in concert to keep us isolated. For single parents with children at home, the incentive to stay put when the work day is finished is even greater...and thus, oftentimes is the degree of isolation. Television is a somewhat distorted mirror of our times, but it is, a mirror. A few years ago, on the once popular television show Designing Women; Mary Jo,the attractive divorcee, working mother of two and custodial parent, summed up the dilemma of most mature singles when she said, "The man I want wasn't out in a singles bar last night, he was probably at home relaxing in an easy chair by the fireplace, reading with his Irish setter at his feet...." The problem of just how and where to meet suitable companions has been perplexing mature singles for years now. Many popular shows have Seriously Searching Singles as a theme; most of these current singles are portrayed as Generation X'ers, but the basic problems are essentially the same whatever your age once you've past the social whirl of your college years and become a mature working adult. If you want to meet that certain someone you're eventually going to have to get out of that easy chair, or at the very least, stir yourself to actively try something a bit different. So think about it this way. There are a limited number of people in any given social circle. If you stick to your hometown (especially if you don't live in a metropolis) the number of people with whom you will be compatible is going to be limited. Say, for example, that when all is said and done there are only 10 men or women in your county who share your interests and would meet all of your requirements. If you stick that county you are only going to have 10 to choose from. Utilizing the internet to expand your circle of acquaintances geometrically increases the number of suitable (and unsuitable) people you are exposed to, and thereby increases your chances of meeting the one person who will truly be the one you want to, and perhaps will, successfully spend the rest of your life with. Before you start looking for that someone special it is best to have "honest" answers to some basic questions. Questions such as: What sort of person am I? Really! What positive qualities do I have to offer? How much time and effort am I realistically willing to put into building and maintaining a relationship? What obstacles exist in my life that might prevent me from finding someone special? Are these obstacles insurmountable, if not, how much effort am I willing to expend in clearing the obstacles? What sort of person do I really hope to find? How willing am I to compromise on my notions of perfection? Many of these questions can be answered easily enough, simply sit down and make lists, everyone has good and bad points. However, do yourself a "huge" favor and be honest about both the good and the not-so good. Once your lists are finished, take the personal insights you have gleaned and write a really great personal ad -- one that genuinely spells out who you are and gives a good idea of what you are looking for. Be honest, be forthright, be charming, but most important of all, say what you mean, mean what you say and stick to it! Take my sincere advice on this matter -- remember, after all, I am the world's greatest living expert on making mistakes -- do this in advance, do not wait until you get to the singles site and just fill in the form with the first thing you think of. You only get "1" chance to make a first impression so you want to start out by putting your best foot forward. A uninformative, sloppily written, un-thought-out personal ad won't make you stand out from the crowd, and it won't catch the eye of someone who has put a lot a preparation and forethought into taking this step. So write a "wonderful" personal ad, and then save it as a .txt file so you can cut and paste it into the form. You probably even want to write up some answers to the standard questions so you can cut and paste them as well. Now that your ad is finished, buy or borrow a digital camera, or use a regular camera and get them put the photos on a cd when you get them developed. Personally, I recommend using a digital camera so you can take hundreds of pictures. That is how the professionals do it, and that way you will get several that portray you honesty, but also flatteringly. Believe me, you will need pictures, because you will get few if any responses to your ad without them -- people don't want to buy a pig in a poke and that's a simple fact of life. Now you might be thinking that no one will write you if they saw you, and if you honestly feel that is the case, you either need a psychiatrist or a nice outfit, a good haircut and a professional photographer. True, your favorite movie star might not want you, but they are probably not online looking anyway, so you haven't lost anything. However, if you've written a truly good ad, and told of your good qualities and your interests there is almost certainly several someones out there who will recognize a compatible soul and write you. Ok, you have your wonderful ad, you have your flattering photos, you've taken your courage in hand and and are ready to put up your ad for the world to see...now what? Well first, you read through my reviews, so you can help decide which singles site or sites are the right match for you. Then you go to your chosen sites and cut and paste your ad, and add your picture. Now you sit back and wait for responses--and you absolutely, positively read through them carefully before deciding who, and who not to reply to. Who not? You heard me, who not! You see there are wolves out there, male and female, who write to everyone whether or not they are remotely truly interested in them...it's an ego thing, and especially likely to occur if you are attractive. You will be able to tell in an instant, which ones actually read your ad "before" writing you. So read the responses to your ad carefully and only respond to those that genuinely interest you. Do not feel that you need to write a polite thank you note to everyone who responds to your ad--it just gives them your email address and allows them (if they are a certain overly agressive type) to try to draw you into a conversation about "why" they are right for you...even if they aren't! See my article concerning a nice innovation at Senior Friendfinder for more on this topic. When the time comes to respond, be honest, be charming, be upbeat...and if you are like me and have a slightly odd sense of humor...don't make any jokes until you get to know them well enough to be certain they "get" your sense of humor and know that you are making a joke. Once a long time ago, this seemingly perfectly nice man wrote me and mentioned in his letter that he and his ex-wife got along very well, and that she was one of the original internet millionaires. I jokingly responded that "I could never start a relationship with a man whose ex-wife could afford the plastic surgery to look young and beautiful forever! It would be too frustrating!" He called me a not nice name and never wrote back. Thank goodness! Which brings me to my final point. I wish you the best of luck on your grand adventure, and I hope you will follow my advice, and have a truly wonderful experience. If you use reasonable caution, most of the people you meet are probably going to be just like you and very nice. But just in case you do meet someone you like, and you have any doubts about them do not hesitate to use: Web Detective Service Read LadyWeb's Advice To Follow Before You Begin Read LadyWeb's Very Own Cautionary Tale Read LadyWeb's Advice For Beginning Long Distance Relationships Read LadyWeb's Review of BeanDate.Com BeanDate.com - dating simplified! Read LadyWeb's Review of EHarmony.Com Read LadyWeb's Review of Senior Friendfinder.Com Read LadyWeb's Review Finding "FUN" & Romance At Tickle.Com Read LadyWeb's Review of Platinum Romance Read LadyWeb's Review of Match.Com Match.com 14-Day Free Trial Offer

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